I have moved this chaplaincy and community builder blog to a new address at
http://communitychaplains.blogspot.com
Please bookmark the new site and check back for inspirational thoughts and articles about chaplains and other community builders.
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Michael Gungor has a great song entitled ‘White Man’. A good reminder that God is love.
There are times when I’ve been asked to pray at a public event in the community. I consider it to be a privilege and want to pray sensitively to the audience, but direct the words to God.
As a Christian, how am I to pray in these situations?
Here’s my current list of conscientious prayer reminders:
1. Don’t show off. Jesus chided the Pharisees for using prayer as a way to brag about their spirituality. No trumpets on the street corner.
2. Keep the prayer appropriate to the request for it. Who is asking you to pray and why? In addition to the public prayer, I can always pray privately about how God wants to use me in the gathering as I meet people.
3. Pray to the God you know. In multi-faith environments, there may be an expectation that you will pray to a generic God that fits all religions. While there may be a sensitivity to all faith groups gathered, you represent your own faith group and that should be expected. Pray intelligently in words that specifically address your God and are respectful and redemptive to all present.
4. Pray and act as God’s ambassador. You are representing in these situations and it’s more important that you are humble and approach with a servant’s heart. This is not your opportunity to set the agenda of the gathering.
I was recently invited to say grace at the dedication of a new power plant producing cleaner, more efficient electricity. It was held at the reception center of Hiram Walker distillery and was stacked with community leaders, industrial magnates and politicians. I sit on a neighborhood redevelopment committee that received $300,000 from the new project to improve the environment.
Here’s the grace I prayed before the meal:
To the One who dwells in the Holy City, the Almighty Sovereign of Creation, we give thanks for this day of new beginnings and generous blessings.
May these good works and accomplishments that we celebrate be a reminder of your provision and compassion for people everywhere. May we be inspired to new acts of justice and mercy, thoughtful connections and inspired vision.
Help us to see how kindness and generosity can empower our neighbors to live with ‘Shalom’ towards one another.
For this food, for our civic officials and leaders of industry and community, we give thanks.
Amen
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One of the hats I wear is chaplaincy coordinator for the District of Churches I belong to. On the Western Ontario District website, there are a series of themed articles.
I am a regular writer for Connections. Here’s the link:
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I have a cousin and his daughter currently doing relief work in Haiti. Here is a report from Robin, the daughter. They are at The Mission of Hope which is North along the coast from Port au Prince. They are one of the closet clinics to the City. They are between the villages of Titanyen and Cabaret.
Here’s Robin’s Facebook report:
“Things are rough here for the Haitians,
but we as a group are all physically fine….emotionally some are not.
However, I am fine in both ways….don’t have time to and cannot let it get to me…. I have to help Dr Cheryl; I am her shadow/ assistant ….. saw some children die and saw lots of major wounds….I have not had much sleep because we are the closest clinic to Port Au Prince…. where lots of buildings including hospitals are down…. However, God is great and we are seeing miracles all around us…. a lot of deaths, but lots of miracles as well…. no phones ( satellite) are available; main tower in Port Au Prince is down. I probably won’t be able to email again, but not sure….. keep us in your prayers.”
Robin Spence is the redhead
When it comes to helping the poor, many people are moved to acts of charity and the support of justice initiatives. Ruth Wilkinson writes about a third response to the poor in ‘presence’.
She is involved in a ministry that provides potluck dinners to residents of a rundown motel in a small town.
Read her wise thoughts here:
Harry Nigh is a community chaplain in the Greater Toronto Area. He heads up ‘Dismas Fellowship’, a worship gathering for people who have been in trouble with the Law.
In his recent newsletter, he shared the following story which gives a glimpse into Harry’s heart and the ministry mindset of those who share in ‘Dismas Fellowship’.
Going Home for Christmas?
I’ll be home for Christmas
You can count on me
Please have snow and mistletoe
and presents on the tree
Christmas Eve will find me
Where the love light gleams
I’ll be home for Christmas
If only in my dreams
We hadn’t even opened our gifts yet when she called that Christmas morning. “I called my father to ask if I could come home for Christmas”, she cried, “and you know what he told me? ‘I don’t have a daughter, and you’re not welcome here’”.
“You know something Harry”, she sobbed, “if the liquor stores were open I’d get drunk and I’d take a bus to Peterborough and kill him!”
What could I say to her … this awful cry of anguish on this day?
She had known so much of rejection. Even her mother, a victim of the abuse in our native boarding schools, had walked out of the hospital after the delivery and left her there. Her father came two days later to take her home. She was raised in foster homes, abusive foster homes, and eventually adopted into our prison system.
I could hear my son stirring upstairs. We would soon have our cozy ritual of gift-giving. Even our cats, Dave and Betsy, would have gifts laced with catnip.
I told her that I loved her, and how sorry I was that she had experienced this rejection again. I told her that I would have been proud to have had her as my daughter. I prayed with her over the phone that she would sense God holding her today like an infinitely mothering-father. I invited her to come to our home for Christmas dinner, to get away from her single room on Spadina and join us around the table.
“No thanks, she said, “I’m going to stay here and take my blankets and make a space like the hole in prison and crawl in there until Christmas is over”.
I wonder what Jesus would make of all the demands and expectations we have created to celebrate his birth? He didn’t seem to place a high premium on chestnuts roasting on an open fire and gifts for all – even the cats. But I think he is deeply grieved over a young woman crawling into a makeshift hole on his birthday.
It’s why you, our volunteers, pour so much energy into creating communities of hope: Dismas Fellowship, Circles of Support & Accountability and one-to-one partnering. Although we can’t remove the scars inflicted from early times we can offer friendship and support, and if you can believe it, over time it begins to feel a lot like family.
Thank you for caring!
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Tagged Community Chaplain, Corrections, Dismas Fellowship, Harry Nigh
I was recently invited to a local high school as one of three community members for a discussion about drug abuse among high school students. Twenty-five students showed up as part of their urban school program.
“What was it like to smoke crack?” asked fifteen year old Kayla. She was a frequent pot-smoker and had tried ecstasy and several other common drugs.
Josh, an eighteen year old high school student who had recently been through rehab sat forward in his seat. With eyes bulging and teeth grinding he blurted, “It’s like nothing else. I’d take a hit and my brain would race. It was a powerful feeling of being somewhere else… being someone else. It was so strong that I would do anything to get more and use again. I’d rob people, steal old ladies purses, it turned me into a monster.”
“When and how did you start using?” Asked Mister Rollins, the urban school program facilitator.
“When I was a kid, my dad used to beat me senselessly. He threw me down the stairs. He was an alcoholic. When I was thirteen my best friend asked me to try his joint. Right away I knew that this is what I wanted.” Josh spoke with understanding gained from rehab and his friendship with Mr. Rollins.
Sixteen year old Carrie spoke up. “I was thirteen when I first smoked pot. People say that it doesn’t damage you, but it made me lazy. My marks were in the sixties and then my parents found out that I was smoking it. They confronted me and what hurt the most was my mother saying she was disappointed in me. I stopped after that and now I’m on the honour roll with marks in the nineties. I still drink at parties, but it’s under control I think.”
Carrie’s boyfriend Devon tells his story. Mom was addicted to prescription pills and dad was a cokehead. Devon remembers his dad always using drugs and having strangers in their house. Dad went out west on a job saying he would be back in a couple weeks. Two years have passed and dad never even said good-bye. With a lump in his throat Devon talked about his own pot-smoking and cocaine use.
Mr. Rollins and Ms. Morgan are in their late thirties and teachers at a local high school. They are respected by these kids. They find acceptance and love, obvious by their willingness to share drug stories in front of us strangers.
One of our group asked the students, “What could the community do to help you? What would be meaningful at this stage in your life?”
Devon spoke up. “My family has failed. If the community wants to help us, we need this group to become a new family for us. That’s what I need.” Several student voices echoed this felt need. They were not prepared to go somewhere else, but felt secure with these teachers at their school.
For two hours I sat silently listening to their stories. I wanted to cry as Alicia described her dad’s deteriorated mental state from years of hard drug use. She talked of childhood in a house full of addicts. Her own drinking was becoming problematic. I recognized that Mr. Rollins and Ms. Morgan were the closest people she had as parental figures. Her own parents were still dad and mom even though they had failed miserably.
I thought about Devon’s words. “We need this group to become a new family for us.”
These kids are the same age as my own. What would it be like as a parent to be so distracted and damaged by addiction to have your own children crying out for love elsewhere? What is it like for a young person to be so traumatized by their upbringing that they are willing to destroy their own life with substance abuse?
I am thinking about what it means to be a follower of Jesus. He defined a new family for everyone that needed to leave father, mother, sister, brother behind. He invites broken people into His family, the church. I want these broken kids to find a new family. I know that my kids will accept them. They will be welcome at our table.
But they are not going to knock at our door. We have to find them and allow our brother Jesus to work through us. Our churches need to learn how to express a deeper love that is inter-generational, non-threatening and filled with grace. The Father has a big table with room for everyone.
Chaplain Mike Mercer
Mike Mercer is a chaplain at a hospice. Michael Spencer (Internet Monk) interviews him about evangelicals and pastoral care.
You can read the interview here: http://www.internetmonk.com/archive/chaplain-mike-mercer-evangelicals-and-the-pastoral-care-of-the-dying-the-im-interview
Paul McMullen, chaplain at the Harold and Grace Baker Centre in Toronto, ON recommends simple activities for volunteers who want to connect with residents who feel forgotten by family and friends.
“A layperson can connect with seniors simply by pushing a wheelchair, sitting down with a resident for a meal or just by listening.”
There are many ways to get involved: reading to residents, helping to write a letter, playing board games or bringing in a pet when you visit.
It doesn’t have to be complicated. A short discussion with a chaplain or staff member is all that is needed to find an appropriate activity, speaking to the resident personally. The opportunities and needs are many, even at homes that can afford an activity program. Arthritics may be left out of a craft activity. That is where one on one is so vital. Once a need is identified, volunteering doesn’t require a major time commitment, although consistency is important. If a resident knows you are coming they have something to look forward to.
Failing heath presents certain barriers, but here are some tips to follow for effective communication and participation.
Kneel down to their level if they are in a wheelchair.
Look directly at them and identify yourself. Residents want to see your face and your lips moving. They want to see you.
You need to adapt to special needs. If there is a hearing problem get closer and determine what ear is better by asking. If partially blind or totally blind touch is so important for the senior. Don’t be afraid to put your hand gently around their shoulder (remember their bones are fragile)
Touch is so important, yet they can be so fragile. A senior wants to know they are still valuable and useful. By holding their hand or putting your arm around them increases blood flow and heart hate which is very therapeutic. I sometimes give a gentle kiss on the forehead to show that they are loveable.
Some may think that dialogue may be difficult. Let the senior do the talking. I have learned that the best education learned outside of the classroom is sitting at the side of a senior.
I also recommend a gentle approach, anchored in humility. We want to see people come to the Lord or rejuvenate a relationship with Him. We must be living witnesses of the work He has done in our own lives. You need to earn the opportunity. Then you will have opportunity to present the gospel.
Ministry in long term care extends far beyond the resident. Remember that family members are also in pain. Sometime they are feeling guilty for have to put them their, even though there may not have been a choice. We need to realize that this is mom or dad’s last home before eternity. Don’t forget the staff members who look after the residents. Some get very close and when one in their care passes away it can be extremely difficult for them also.
Surprisingly, even with death and pain hovering nearby, Chaplaincy and volunteering is usually a great blessing. As for the volunteer they get more out of it, so I have heard some say, than the senior or the family member.
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(originally published in Faith Today)
Available for speaking to church groups, clubs or organization regarding Ministry in Long term care.
Paul McMullen 416-743-5101 or email chaplainpm@rogers.com
